#aj
,bl ,fai?

,9 ! e>ly w9t] ,i sat on a b> /ool at ! #dj? ,/reet ,grill dr9k+ a be] )
,rob1 ano!r t1*] at ! ,phoenix ,c.try ,"d ,s*ool1 :5 he sd1 8,y "k :o y %d
g af8 ,ell5 ,reeve4 ,%e's got ! mo/ b1uti;l blue eyes &a v a?letic body4
,did y "k %e coa*es ! boys' so3] t1m80 ,i _h set up ! 3v]s,n brilliantly
0ask+ ,rob :o ! gd-look+ t1*]s w]e1 n lett+ on t ,i 0 re,y mo/ 9t]e/$ 9
,ell54 ,ll did ,i "k t ,ell5 wd 2 at ! top ( 8 li/4

,rob _h g"o "? ! t1*]s1 f/ hi<li<t+ ! "os :o wore m9iskirts b>ely cov]+ _!
?i<s1 next ! ,ivory girls ) :ole"s gd looks1 & f9,y ! old] babes :o / %[$
traces ( _! =m] b1uty4 ,i told hm ! "os :o ,i ?"\ _h hot voices3 "s )a r\<
sexy purr1 o!rs hi< pit*$ & *irpy1 & / o!rs rumbl+ & spit-fir+ _! ^ws qkly
& >ticulately2 & ,rob wd 3firm or 4pute4 ,"s ?9k t bl p d n c>e ab looks1 t
we >e abv assess+ "o's desirabil;y "? surface b1uty1 b if t's ! case1 ,i
pr\dly br1k ! /]eotype4 ,i am z m* a pig z any si<t$ guy4 ,9 fact1 ,i take
(f5se at ^? :o wd assume t j 2c ,i am bl ,i am suppos$ 6be asexual4 ,bl;s
has ll 6d )! virtue or villa9y ( "o's "*4 ,i c 2 j z %all[1 b my %all[;s
-es f ! voluptu\s hum (a sexy voice or ! electrify+ grasp (a smoo? supple
h&4

,x is emb>rass+ ! desp]ate l5g?s ,i h g"o 6le>n :at a woman looks l :ile
try+ 6keep alive h] angelic impres.n ( me4 ,once ,i met a woman on ! tra9
back 6,bo/on4 ,we _h talk$ & lau<$ tgr ! :ole way home4 ,%e _h a cle>
pl1sant voice1 b al? ! 3nec;n 2t a sexy voice &a %apely body is (t5
a3urate1 x is / a big risk 6proce$ 0! s.d (a voice al"o4 ,at ! 5d (! ride
,i _h gott5 ! c\rage 6ask h] \4 ,:5 at la/ ,i met h] = \r date1 ,i %ook h]
h& & 0 a ll worri$4 ,%e _h n pass$ ! h& te/3 %ort1 fat1 /u2y f+]s n9e "ts \
( t5 m1ns a %ort1 fat1 /u2y body2 &1 n[ /&+1 ,i 0 aw>e ( h] voice project+
f a l;g way d[n4 ,i >rang$ = u 6g h pizza at ,geo's ,pizza 9 ,h>v>d ,squ>e
": my fr 3v5i5tly "w$ 2h ! c.t]4 ,i %ook 8 h& z ,i 9troduc$ h] & knew1
9/antly1 my gr[+ al>m 0 well ju/ifi$4 ,he _h %ak5 my h& ) 8 f+]s curl$ &
cupp$ tgr1 =c+ my h& 6curl & cup 9 return4 ,he _h giv5 me ! ugly %ake & "!
0 no?+ = me 6d b 6f9i% \ ! date4

,s1 9 ! b> ) ,rob x 0 -=t+ 6he> 8 approval ( ,ell54 ,2f ,rob's visual
assess;t1 ,i _h be5 "w+ solo1 z usual1 ) only ,ell5's voice 6guide me--b1
oh1 :at a voice4 ,:5 ,i _h 9t]view$ =a job at ,phoenix ,c.try ,"d ,s*ool1 !
pr9cipal _h tak5 me 6obs]ve 8 %[case t1*]s at "w4 ,ell5's classroom 0 ! f/
/op4 ,i sat 9 ! back ( h] room 9 an "usiz$ *air z ,ell5 briefly set up !
activ;y4 ,h] voice 0 smoo? & s(t1 & if ,i _hn't be5 pay+ att5;n1 ,i wd h
miss$ ! subtle1 danc+ sp>k 2h ! calm4 ,h] ^ws didn't l1p \ at ! /ud5ts 9
rapid-fire bur/s or rambl+ diatribes1 b seem$ 6roll \ ( h] m\? l music1 or
ev5 bett]1 a musical roll] coa/]1 so>+ & swoop+ "? ! room1 up & !n d[n1 up
& !n d[n4 ,2f l;g1 h] voice wd gr[ quiet] & x wd s.d l doves' w+s ris+ up
tgr1 or l ! mu6l$ :isp] (a cascad+ wat]fall "? a deep hi45 =e/4 ,i scoot$
my *air up 6a ta# full ( six? grad]s1 li/5+ 6!m 4cuss _! project1 b ,i 0 a
su6ici5t 4trac;n & !y 2gan fir+ "qs at me4

8,": did ,i -e f8 ,": did ,wiz>d -e f8 ,0 ,i m>ri$80

,:5 ,ell5 came ov]1 9/1d ( do+ ! typical t1*]ly ?+ l ask+ ! *n 6get back on
task1 %e 2gan ask+ "qs too4 ,x turn$ \1 we _h g"o 6! same t1*]'s college 9
,cambridge1 _h liv$ 9 ! same brok5 d[n a"p;ts1 _h walk$ ! same /reets1 & _h
eat5 9 ! same re/aurants4 ,%e 0 z curi\s ab me z ! *n4 ,x 0 obvi\s t %e
didn't see h]f z ! supreme l1d]1 b j ano!r le>n] 9 ! 4cov]y process4 ,! "q
8,>e y m>ri$80 f a /ud5t pos$ a major dilemma4 ,a guy 9 my graduate class
_h advis$ me 6tell all 9t]view]s t ,i 0 5gag$4 ,he sd x wd make me s.d m
/a#1 z ?\<

,i 7 r1dy 6set d[n roots & 2come a pill> 9 ! -mun;y4 ,s1 ,i decid$ 6/ick 6!
game plan & blurt$ \1 8,i'm n m>ri$1 b ,i'm 5gag$40 ,i figur$ if ,i 7 hir$1
lat] ,i cd say t x j _hn't "w$ \4 ,2ss1 x mi<t ev5 "w 6my advantage4 ,i cd
expla9 t ,i _h gr[n m s5sitive & vuln]a# "? ! :ole tortur\s a6air4 ,i _h
be5 hurt 6! v core b1 =! "r woman1 ,i mi<t j 2 r1dy 6take a *.e ag4

,! la/ few m9utes ( class1 ,ell5 walk$ 6! front (! room1 sat d[n & 2gan
r1d+ a /ory %e _h />t$ 9 a previ\s class4 ,! /ory 0 .,! .,ll .,pr9ce1 & %e
r1d a "p ": ! pr9ce talk$ ab a r>e fl[] t grew on 8 planet & 0 9 dang] ( 2+
eat5 0a %eep4 8,if "s"o loves a fl[]1 ( : j "o s+le blossom gr[s 9 all !
millions & millions ( />s1 x is 5 6make hm happy j 6look at ! />s4 ,he c
say 6hmf3 ,8,"s":1 my fl[] is "! '''0' ,b if ! %eep eats ! fl[]1 9 "o mo;t
all 8 />s w 2 d>k5$40 ,h] voice made ! /ory s.d b1uti;l1 sad & play;l all
at once4 ,soon 96! /ory1 x wasn't z ?\< %e 7 r1d+ anymore1 b _h />t$ a
video & we cd see ! ll pr9ce & he> 8 pr\d1 pl1d+ voice4 ,i sat 9 !
classroom pray+ t ,ell5's physical appe>.e 0 z /unn+ z h] ess;e4 ,despite !
obvi\s pro#ms )! voice/body 3nec;n1 &) no tru/$ h&%ake 6guide my feel+s1 9
! back ( ,ell5's classroom t "d1 squeez$ 96a six? grad]'s pla/ic *air1 ,i
cdn't help b fall hope.sly 9 love )a t1*] :o at f/1 at l1/1 0 only a voice4

,:5 ,i 0 (f]$ a job t1*+ ,5gli% & ma? 6fif? grad]s1 ,i took x1 p]h "ply 2c
( ,ell5 & h] class4 ,i want$ 6be ! k9d ( t1*] t %e was1 & 6cr1te a
classroom l h]s4 ,9 graduate s*ool1 a professor _h -p>$ t1*]s 6c(feemak]s4
8,"s /& abv ! /ud5ts lett+ _! k & id1s trickle d[n 96! m9ds (! /ud5ts1 b !n
"! >e ^? r>e situ,ns ": ! t1*] & /ud5ts all brew & p]colate 9 ! same pot40
,x 0 an 9trigu+ idea3 t1*] & /ud5ts 4cov]+ & evolv+ tgr1 ! t1*] n a
p$agogue b simply a facilitator1 /ud5ts n empty vessels1 b important
res\rces1 bur/+ ) id1s 63tribute 6! classroom4 ,x 0 revolu;n>y & ,i _h
wond]$ if x cd truly "w1 b exp]i5c+ ,ell5's class1 ,i 0 3v9c$4 ,ell5's
classroom 0 ! r>] k9d ( c(feemak]1 & ,i decid$ t ,phoenix ,c.try ,"d ,s*ool
0 ! place ,i cd le>n 6p]colate ! m9ds ( my /ud5ts too1 & maybe ev5 my [n4

,(t51 9 ^? w>m autumn mon?s1 ,i kept my classroom door op5 6! ,>izona sun &
wd he> p walk+ back & =? d[n ! sidewalk4 ,ev5tu,y1 ,i cd id5tify p 0_!
foot/eps1 & ea* ( _! heels told a /ory4 ,pr9cipal ,john ,crabb's gait v]g$
on a run4 ,8 flat-foot$ /eps p.d$ ! pave;t & spoke (a doz5 unwritt5 memos &
ano!r doz5 unansw]$ p>5t ph"o calls4 ,mo/ (! wom5 adm9i/rators clip-clopp$
d[n ! sidewalk 9 a precise hi<-heel$ p[] walk4 ,_! heels scr1m$ ) purpose3
/ud5t f9ancial aid 6h&le1 s*ol>%ips 6grant1 textbooks 6buy4 8,get \ ( my
way10 !y -m&$1 8'cause ,i'm walk+ & "! a9't no /opp+ me40 ,ell5 wd visit my
classroom f "t 6"t1 & ,i wd n"e he> h] -+ until %e 0 alr 9side ! room1
patt]+ acr ! c>pet t[>d my desk & ask+ 9 h] s(t voice1 8,h['s yr "d go+80
,i n"e _h any "t 6react4 ,if %e _h be5 a clip-clopp]1 ,i wd h he>d h] -+ )
5 "t 6re-gel my hair1 dab on a ll cologne1 & put on a tie1 b %e glid$
sil5tly l a pan!r1 h] s(t mu6l$ s.d mat]ializ+ j 9side ! doorway ( my room4

,"s"ts1 ,ell5 wd (f] 6give me a ride home1 & ev5 ?\< ,i only liv$ a
five-m9ute walk away1 ,i n"e turn$ h] d[n4 ,once1 we sat p>k$ 9 front ( my
a"p;t -plex talk+ = an h\r 2f ,ell5 sd1 8,d y want 6g get a be]80 ,s we
walk$ acr ! /reet 6! #dj? ,/reet ,grill4 ,9 ! b> ,i ord]$ ! be] on tap1 b
,ell5 ord]$ a vodka tonic &1 ) t1 ,i figur$ ,i _h no *.e4 ,no "o
sophi/icat$ 5 6dr9k vodka tonics cd "e 2 9t]e/$ 9 me4 ,i 0 a ll 9timidat$4
,) greyh.d races bl>+ ov] a doz5 televi.n scre5s1 ,ell5 ask$1 8,s1 :5 >e y
gett+ m>ri$80 ,ell5's simple "q hit me l a hamm]4 ,i _h =gott5 ab my ll
:ite lie4

8,uh60 ,i /utt]$4 ,i %d h "kn t "o wd -e back & bite me1 ,i ?"\4

8,>5't y 5gag$80

,i ?"\ ab my prep>$ l9es4 ,cd ,i tell h] ,i _h brok5 x (f only two mon?s
96! s*ool ye>8 ,t mi<t make me look m l a %all[ los] ?an a vuln]a#1
s5sitive guy4 ,2ss1 ,i wasn't sitt+ 9 a dorm room1 try+ 6hook up )a college
girl4 ,i 0 sitt+ acr f a six?-grade ,5gli% t1*]4 ,%e liv$ 9 a cottage on a
hill )a g>d52 %e drove a ,volvo2 & at ? v mo;t %e 0 sitt+ acr f me dr9k+ a
vodka tonic4 ,f9,y1 ,i sd1 8,well1 ,i wdn't m9d gett+ m>ri$1 if ,i actu,y
_h a girlfr40 ,ell5 0 sil5t1 no d\bt qkly los+ fai? 9 ano!r /&>d-issue-male
pig4 ,!n1 ,i blurt$ \ ! :ole tru?1 & 5d$ )1 8,i re,y want$ ! job40 ,ell5
lau<$ hy/]ic,y1 s ,i guess t m1nt %e 2liev$ me4 ,no *1t+ scum cd make up a
/ory t ridicul\s4

,lat] we talk$ ab ! big adv5tures 9 \r lives4 ,i told h] ab pack+ up & mov+
6,>izona4 8,h[ did y "k y'd l ,phoenix80 ,ell5 ask$4 8,i didn't "k m*4 ,t's
:y ,i pick$ x4 ,x seem$ l an adv5ture10 ,i answ]$1 & actu,y ,phoenix 0 l
no?+ ,i h "e exp]i;ed4 ,ev5 my morn+ walk 6s*ool 0 refre%+1 ! feel (! cool
des]t air ris+ up 6meet ! hot rays (! sun &! pung5t smell (! des]t mix+ )!
sweet smell ( orange blossoms4 ,:at / blew me away 0 plung+ 96! pool at my
-plex af t1*+ =! "d4 ,a few ye>s ago1 ,ell5 _h felt h] life 0 gr[+ a ll
/ale & 0 look+ = an adv5ture 6give h] a jump />t4 ,s1 %e _h appli$ 6!
,de"p;t ( ,def5se ,dep5d5ts' ,s*ools1 ! w+ (! gov]n;t t 3tract$ 6$ucate !
*n ( milit>y p ov]s1s4 ,\ ( an imm5se pool ( applicants1 !y (f]$ ,ell5 a
job 9 ,opp5heim1 ,g]_m1 a small hamlet situat$ on ! banks (! ,rh9e ,riv]4
8,i _h n"e ev5 be5 \ (! c.try10 ,ell5 told me4 8,:5 ,i wait$ = my plane1 ,i
0 s n]v\s1 ,i _h 6sn1k away f my p>5ts1 :o _h -e 6see me (f1 6secretly puke
9 ! ba?room40 ,b x 0 ! /ory ( h] f/ "d 9 ,g]_m t made me feel /rangely
3nect$ 6h]4 ,al"o 9 h] hotel room1 ) no "o "! 6escort h]1 %e _h decid$ n
6eat 9 ! bor+ hotel re/aurant1 b 9/1d _h tak5 a walk "? n>r[1 twi/+1
cob#/"o /reets4 8,"ey?+ 0 s /range10 ,ell5 sd4 8,! c>s & trucks 7 /range )
l;g lic5se plates & /u2y bump]s2 ! h\ses 7 /range4 ,!y _h po9ty til$ ro(s &
w9d[ boxes fill$ ) bold1 r$ fl[]s2 ! signs ov] ! %ops _h /range s.d+ "ns l
.,spielgefahrt & .,schuhgeshaft2 ev5 ! trees 7 /range4 ,!y 7 s m* tall] &
sk9ni]40 ,ell5 _h /um#d ^u ! t[n squ>e1 ": drunk5 m5 9 /ock+s & l$]hos5 &
wom5 9 frilly bl\ses & l;g skirts celebrat$ ! grape h>ve/ 0danc+ >m 9 >m
6an oompah-pah b&4 ,abv ! squ>e loom$ a giant ca!dral )a huge /a9$-glass
w9d[ & an enorm\s bell t rev]b]at$ "? ! village e fifte5 m9utes4 8,2h !
ca!dral10 ,ell5 sd1 h] voice alm a :isp] 9 ! l\d b>1 8,i f.d a b"o h\se40

8,b"o h\se80 ,i rep1t$4 8,x s.ds l a horror movie40

8,no10 ,ell5 repli$1 8j hi/ory40 ,2h u1 9 ! b>1 greyh.d races 7 bl>+ ov]
,,tv sets & "s"o 0 yell+ \1 8,g numb] six6 ,numb] six60 & bang+ 8 fi/s on 8
ta#4 8,x 0 a ll h\se )a t9y squ>e w9d[10 ,ell5 3t9u$4 8,:5 ,i look$ "?1 x 0
pit* black1 b :5 ,i pu%$ a button1 ! room lit up & ,i cd see anci5t b"os4
,!y 7 /ack$ up l cordwood4 ,"o pile 0 = b"os &! o!r = skulls4 ,i 0 />+ "? !
w9d[ wond]+ h[ all ^? b"os got "! :5 ! t[n bell rang \4 ,i alm l1p$ \ ( my
sk940

,ell5 f9,y f.d a t9y re/aurant on ! bank (! ,rh9e ,riv] ": %e sat d[n1
al"o1 at a ta# on ! por*4 ,%e look$ \ at l;g1 flat-bottom$ b>ges roll+ d[n
! riv] ) plump tidy *n sw++ on squ1ky ru/$ sw+ sets 5cas$ 9 *a9-l9k boxes4
,) m* trepid,n1 ,ell5 _h ord]$ ! only item on ! ,g]man m5u t %e recogniz$1
a *ef .salat1 b ev5 ! salad came \ /rangely4 ,9/1d ( 2+ fre%1 all !
vegeta#s 7 pickl$3 pickl$ caulifl[]1 pickl$ zuc*9i1 pickl$ beets4 ,s1 %e
sat "! al"o1 eat+ h] /range pickl$ vegeta#s & 5vi.n+ plump tidy *n & m5 9
weird l1!r %orts danc+ >m 9 >m1 /a9$-glass w9d[s & h\ses fill$ ) b"os4 ,%e
0 a "y ,am]ican woman m>vel+ at ! /range;s ( x all2 ! only ?+ famili> 0 !
sp>kl+ canvas (! ,g]man sky4

,i h n"e be5 6,opp5heim2 ,i h n"e ev5 be5 6,g]_m2 ,i h especi,y n"e eat5
pickl$ vegeta#s1 b "sh[ ! sc5e _h lock$ xf 9side me4 ,i cd feel ! n]v\s
5]gy1 ! re/.s;s1 ! expectancy1 ! b>e trace ( l"oli;s1 & ,i cd feel ! pulse
( h] he>t z if x 7 my [n he>t1 b1t+ hope "? h] liv+ body4

,n[ back 9 ,phoenix = six ye>s1 ,ell5 _h felt t /ale feel+ -+ on ag1 &
,g]_m _h def9itely be5 an excit+ p]iod ( travel & adv5ture4 ,maybe1 %e ?"\1
x 0 ! answ] ag4 ,%e _h reappli$ & 0 (f]$ a new job 9 ! ,ne!rl&s4 ,ell5 0
s]i\sly 3templat+ go+1 3v9c$ t travel wd 2 ano!r jump />t4 ,! idea t "! 0
no clamp hold+ h] d[n 6? place 2gan 6haunt h]4 ,no boyfr4 ,no fr%ip /r;g 5
6keep h] 9 ,phoenix4 ,%e _h felt l a drift]1 a l(ty balloon t _h slipp$
away f a h&4 ,f9,y h] "f _h giv5 h] ! advice %e ne$$4 8,maybe10 he sd1 8yr
adv5ture is "r "h4 ,maybe y don't h 6g halfway >.d ! _w 6f9d x4 ,maybe x's
"t 6take a /& & f9d yr happi;s "r "h40 ,s1 %e _h /ay$ & only a mon? lat]1
,wiz>d & ,i _h walk$ 96h] classroom4

,j 2f w9t] br1k ,ell5 & ,i _h talk$ ab ! plans ea* ( u _h made = vac,n4
,ell5 0 /ick+ >.d ,phoenix1 visit+ h] p>5ts1 :o 7 retir$ s\? ( t[n1 & ,i 0
go+ 6,florida 6visit my bro!rs & dad4 ,t afn ,i _h pack$ up my bags & 0
ru%+ d[n ! sidewalk 6cat* my plane :5 ,ell5 br1?.sly ran up 2h me & h&$ me
a holi"d c>d4 ,i op5$ x up1 2g9n+ 6h& x 6,ell5 6h h] r1d x 6me1 :5 ,ell5
sd1 / pant+1 8,no6 ,y r1d x40 ,!n my f+]s explor$ ! page & f.d ! bumps
protrud+ f ! surface4 8,m]ry ,*ri/mas10 x r1d1 8,x's be5 v nice gett+ 6"k
y40 ,i r1d ! ,brl al\d1 !n lift$ my face 6,ell5 & smil$4 8,well10 %e
admitt$1 8,i _h 6keep x a ll bl&4 ,r1lize1 ,i 0 dictat+ 6an ei<ty-ye>-old
bl man at ! special ne$s c5t] at ! libr>y40 ,t morn+1 ,ell5 _h put ! c>d 9
my mailbox 9 ! front (fice1 b "?\t ! "d %e _h rep1t$ly pass$ "? ! (fice &
_h se5 ! c>d pok+ \ f ! mailbox 9 ! exact spot %e _h plac$ x4 ,mo;ts 2f !
clos+ bell x 0 / "!4 ,)\t look+ 6see :o 0 wat*+1 ,ell5 _h b5t ov]1 snat*$
up ! c>d1 & spr9t$ \ ! door t[>d my classroom4 ,z my f+]s ran ov] ! ,brl
note1 ,i want$ 6hug ,ell51 b 9/1d1 ,i only slid ! c>d 96my bag & %ook h]
h&4 ,i felt h] ?9 grace;l f+]s4 ,!y 7 /r;g1 pois$1 & h] smoo? nails 7 cut
/rai<t acr ) no pret5.n4 ,fa9t l9es crisscross$ h] palms4 ,!y w]5't deep b
! l9es ( an a?lete4 ,6me !y %[$ a bl5d ( s(t;s & -pet;e4 ,z ,i ru%$ (f 6!
taxi t wd take me 6! airport1 all ,i cd ?9k 0 t %e _h pass$ ! te/4 ,ell5 _h
pass$ ! h& te/4


,two "ds af ,*ri/mas ,i _h call$ ,ell5 f ,florida & 9vit$ h] \ = ,new
,ye>'s ,eve ^u my return 6,phoenix4 ,i w5t all \1 r5t+ a limo 6take u
6d9n]1 danc+1 & lat] a -$y club4 ,af t ni<t1 we 7 seldom a"p4 ,\r f/ mon?s
tgr pass$ 9 a blur ( excite;t3 l;g rides on my t&em bike & hikes 9 ! des]t
": we 5c.t]$ rattlesnakes & javel9as4 ,ov] a romantic d9n] ,i ask$ ,ell5
:at %e want$ \ ( h] future1 & h] response 0 q miracul\s4 8,"s girls dr1m (a
fancy *ur* w$d+ ) rose petals c>pet+ ! aisles & bells r++4 ,!y want a big
h\se )a :ite picket f;e10 %e sd1 8b ,i've n"e dr1m$ ( ^? ?+s4 ,i want 6live
a life t is extraord9>y1 n"e ord9>y10 & if extraord9>y 0 :at %e truly
want$1 %e def9itely got a h1l?y dose ( x 0dat+ me4


,at f/1 ,i cd tell ,ell5 especi,y /ru7l$ )! peculi>ities ( bl;s4 ,%e 0 sort
(a %y & private p]son1 & %e wasn't us$ 6! att5;n ,i (t5 rcvd4 ,"ey"o is
fasc9at$ )! rel,n%ip (a bl man & 8 "w+ dog & x (t5 feels z ?\< we >e at !
h1d (a p>ade4 ,ell5 wd wat* z p l9$ up1 cr\*+ l[1 po9t+1 & />+4 8,look1
,mom1 "!'s a dog 9 ! sup]m>ket4 ,c ,i pet hm80

8,h"oy1 t's a "w+ dog4 ,he helps t nice bl man see40

8,:y does he ne$ a dog 6help hm see80

8,2c he's bl1 h"oy40

8,!n h[ does he "k ": he is8 ,does t lady tell hm80

,i cd alm he> ,ell5's grimace4 ,%e knew1 h["e1 t p _h gd 9t5;ns1 & !y j
want$ 6let me "k h[ wond];l !y ?"\ \r "pn]%ip was4 8,s* a b1uty6 ,is x yr
be/ fr80

8,x sure is10 ,i repli$1 massag+ ,ellie's %\ld]4

8,:at's xs "n80 ,& ,i repli$1 8,ell540

,9 ,febru>y ,i p]suad$ ,ell5 6g away ) me 6nor!rn ,>izona =a lovely
romantic ski week5d4 8,we'll sit 9 ! hot tub10 ,i urg$1 8dr9k+ w9e )!
sn[flakes l&+ 9 \r hair40

8,& :at ab ! ski+ "p80 ,ellie ask$ 9noc5tly4 8,h y ski$ 2f80

8,pl5ty ( "ts10 ,i li$4 ,actu,y1 ,i _h only be5 once1 five ye>s ago 9
college1 &! exp]i;e _h 5d$ ) me ly+ spr1d-eagl$ on top (a bu%1 pull+ burs \
( my crot*4 8,don't y worry60 ,i tri$ 6set ,ellie's m9d at ease4 8,guid+ a
bl p]son d[n a m.ta9 is re,y easy4 ,"!'s no?+ 6x40

,9tuitively we _h manag$ 0,ellie ski+ close 2h me :ile call+ \ "s simple
-m&s l1 8,turn--turn n[6 ,oh1 ,god ,i c't look60 & _h manag$ 6avoid any
major trauma until ! 5d (! "d4 ,we _h *os5 ,presid5t's ,"d 6emb>k on \r
maid5 ski voyage1 ! mo/ cr[d$ "d 9 ! resort's hi/ory we lat] le>n$4 ,s x 0
q miracul\s t we rema9$ up"r z l;g z we did4 ,i f.d myf actu,y 9 sync )
,ellie's -m&s & %[$ (f my a?letic abil;y 0:ipp+ a7ressively f turn 6turn 9
my be/ ..,wide ,_w ( .,sports impres.n4 ,ski+ d[n a blue run1 we _h j
dropp$ ov] a /eep1 mogul-fill$1 icy sec;n4 ,un"kn 6,ellie at ! "t1 a woman
_h j wip$ \ ah1d ( u & %e & h] boyfr 7 sitt+ at ! wor/ possi# place on !
slope--j hi45 2l ! lip4 ,we 7 mov+ s fa/ & !y 7 9 s* a bad spot t :5 ,ellie
saw !m x 0 too late4 ,i ?9k %e sd "s?+ l1 8,u<h%htuh40 ,! lady's boyfr 0 "r
next 6h]1 help+ 6sort \ h] skis1 s :5 ,i 3nect$1 x 0 ) two bodies1 n j "o4
,9 ? case1 bl;s "w$ 6my advantage1 2c si<t didn't cause me 6t5se up or
6flail po9t.sly4 ,! :ole ?+ 0 surpris+ly pa9.s4 ,we 7 a 3tort$ tangle (
protrud+ >ms1 legs1 h1ds1 & skis1 l a mon/r\sly de=m$ octopus4 ,i popp$ up1
bru%$ myf (f1 & lau<$ (f ! :ole 9cid5t1 annoy$ "un1?1 b n want+ 6make
,ellie feel guilty or cause h] 6lose h] 3fid;e4

,on ! campus ( ,phoenix ,c.try ,"d ,s*ool1 ,ell5 & ,i tri$ 6keep \r
rel,n%ip private f ! snoop+ eyes & e>s ( /ud5ts &1 ev5 worse1 o!r t1*]s4
,at "w1 x 0 fun 6be =mal >.d ,ell54 ,i n"e q knew :o mi<t 2 li/5+4 ,at
br1k1 ,i got a kick \ ( say+ v prop]ly1 8,gd morn+1 ,ms4 ,reeve40 ,) h]
respond+1 j z prop]ly1 8,well1 gd morn+ 6y1 ,mr4 ,weih5may]40 ,b ev5 ) no
ex*ange ( ^ws1 :5 pass+ 0h]1 ,i _h a secret w1pon 6tell me %e 0 ne>4 ,if %e
0 )9 range1 ,wiz>d wd sl[ d[n & 2g9 ve]+ sli<tly t[>d h]1 pant+ a ll h>d] &
"s"ts ev5 mak+ t9y hi< :imp]s4 ,ell5 & ,wiz>d _h 2come gd frs1 (t5 play+ a
game ( cat* tgr af s*ool 9 front ( my a"p;t4 ,if ,i 0 walk+ )a l9e ( fif?
grad]s 2h me1 ,i'd po9t 9 ! direc;n ( ,wiz>d's subtle ve] & call \
3fid5tly1 8,hello1 ,ms4 ,reeve10 6! -plete amaze;t (! /ud5ts4 8,didn't y "k
all bl p h a bit ( ,,esp80


,ea* rel,n%ip has a transi;nal mo;t :5 two p 2g9 6feel s -=ta# ) ea* o!r t
!y decide 6%>e "s?+ emb>rass+ or let slip "s?+ a ll less ?an app1l+4 ,x
mi<t -e )a f>t or bel* 9 front (a "pn] =! f/ "t4 ,at ? mo;t x mi<t 2 >gu$ t
y >e truly 9timate4 ,\r mo;t 0 a bit di6]5t f mo/ p's4 ,we 7 sitt+ on my b$
:5 ,i took \ my glass eye = ,ell54 ,i _h be5 w>m+ h] up 6! idea 0m5;n+ !
possibil;y (a glass eye & !n pret5d+ 6take x \ 0pull+ d[n my l[] lid &
exa7]at$ly popp+ ! back ( my h1d ) my h&4 ,b j 6?r[ ,ell5 (f1 ,i'd p]=m !
proc$ure on my "r1 r1l eye4 ,ell5 wd pe] closely 96! eye & proclaim1 8,x
looks too r1l4 ,x cdn't 2 fake40 ,s1 ,i wd rep1t ! proc$ure on ! left eye4
8,t "o looks r1l too10 %e'd say4 ,!n1 "s"ts1 ov] an 9timate d9n] 9 ! mid/
(a 3v]s,n1 ,i wd 2g9 6casu,y tap "o ( my eyes )! nail ( my =ef+]1 z if ,i 7
?9k+ re,y h>d ab :at %e 0 say+1 except ,i wd re,y 2 tapp+ ! bottom (! ta#4
,i kept ? up =a week1 until ,ell5 0 ?or\<ly 3fus$4 ,2h all ! jok+1 ,i 0
actu,y v s5sitive ab ! loss ( my left eye4 ,i _h n"e tak5 x \ 9 front (
any"o1 ev5 memb]s ( my [n family4

,once 9 graduate s*ool1 )a rel,n%ip gr[+ qkly s\r1 ,i _h 3sid]$ tak+ x \1 b
= less admira# r1sons4 ,we 7 on a f]ry go+ 6,nantucket ,isl& =a girlfr's
bir?"d4 ,my idea 0 6h h] close h] eyes :ile ,i plac$ "s?+ 9 h] h&4 8,h"oy10
,i wd say g5tly1 8x's a bir?"d surprise40 ,& :5 %e op5$ h] eyes & pe]$
excit$ly d[n at h] h&1 "s?+ unexpect$ wd 2 />+ back at h]4 ,b ,i 0 sc>$ t
%e wd 2 s %ock$1 %e mi<t fl+ my eye ov]bo>d1 & s ! surprise gift only
rema9$ a fantasy4

,) ,ell5 x 0 di6]5t4 ,ev5 ?\< ,i wasn't -=ta# )! idea (a pros!tic eye1 ,i
want$ h] 6"k me1 ev5 6"k me ) "o less eyeball ?an ,i 0 suppos$ 6h4 ,s1 :ile
sitt+ on my b$1 ,ell5 look$ 96my eyes & sd1 8,-e on6 ,take x \40 ,h] voice
s.d$ l %e _h scrun*$ up h] face1 prep>+ =! grue"s si<t4 8,take x \6 ,take x
\60 %e *ant$4 8,x won't gross y \80 ,i ask$4 8,a ll1 b take x \ anyway40
,%e 9si/$4 ,s ,i pull$ d[n my l[] lid1 no4$ my h1d =w>d & popp$ x \ = r1l4
,ell5 let \ a ll puff ( air4 ,s9ce %e 0 j a ll gross$ \1 ,i decid$ 6g !
4t.e & fully gross h] \4 ,i /ret*$ \ my >ms 9 front ( me1 palms up1 !
pros!tic eye ly+ on top ( my palm l a cr[n jewel1 & %u6l$ /i6ly t[>d ,ell5
l a mummy4 ,ell5 squ1l$ & d>t$ f ! b$4 ,z ,i *as$ h] >.d ! a"p;t1 ,i moan$
l ,i _h j wok5 f ! d1d & op5$ my eyelids z wide z !y wd g4 ,i he>d h] tuck$
d[n on ! c\*1 try+ desp]ately 6quiet h] br1?+4 ,:5 ,i came ne> h]1 %e lau<$
& ,i collaps$ on top ( h]4 ,i laid my h& on h] face & knew h] eyes 7
squeez$ ti<t1 s ,i g5tly pri$ !m op5 s %e cd see my "o op5 socket &! p9k
fle% 2h x z ,i kiss$ h]4 ,ell5 return$ my kiss4


,x 0 ,wiz>d :o f9,y gave \r secret love a6air away4 ,"o "d1 ,i 0 help+ a
/ud5t af s*ool & 0 late =! faculty meet+4 ,\ ( br1?1 ,i ru%$ d[n !
sidewalk1 >.d ! corn]1 & swung op5 ! door4 ,! meet+ _h alr 2gun4 ,quietly1
,i told ,wiz>d 6f9d a *air4 ,cu/om>ily1 he wd walk u ov] 6an empty *air &
lay 8 h1d on x4 ,:5 he /opp$1 ,i wd slide my h& f 8 back1 d[n 6his h1d &
muzzle1 t\* ! empty *air & sit d[n4 ,wiz>d w1v$ "? ! cr[d$ desks & l[]$ 8
h1d4 ,my h& slid d[n 8 muzzle b 9/1d ( an empty *air1 ,i felt knees & he>d
,ell5's gi7le4 ,wiz>d laid 8 h1d on ,ell5's lap1 8 big tail wa7+4 ,%e
:isp]$1 8,wiz>d1 ,wiz>d1 n "h4 ,f9d ano!r *air40 ,ell5 _h be5 wav+ hm away1
:ile /ifl+ a gi7le1 b 6no avail4 ,! 5tire faculty erupt$ 9 lau<t]4 ,wiz>d's
wa7+ tail & 8 b"r eyes />+ up 96,ell5's %ock$ & lau<+ face _h 3firm$ _! e
suspicion4 ,! cat or1 9 ? 9/.e1 ! dog1 0 \ (! bag4