,,*APT] ,,XVIII
  ,MY 9FATU,N =! ,OAKL& WAT]-FRONT 0 Q
D1D4 ,I DIDN'T L ! LOOKS ( X1 NOR !
LIFE4 ,I DIDN'T C>E =! DR9K+1 NOR !
VAGRANCY ( X1 & ,I W&]$ BACK 6! ,OAKL&
,FREE ,LIBR>Y & R1D ! BOOKS ) GRT]
"U/&+4 ,!N1 TOO1 MY "M SD ,I _H S[N MY
WILD OATS & X 0 "T ,I SETTL$ D[N 6A
REGUL> JOB4 ,AL1 ! FAMILY NE$$ ! M"OY4
,S ,I GOT A JOB AT ! JUTE MILLS--A T5-
H\R "D AT T5 C5TS AN H\R4 ,DESPITE MY
9CR1SE 9 /R5G? & G5]AL E6ICI5CY1 ,I 0
RCVG NO M ?AN :5 ,I "W$ 9 ! CANN]Y S"EAL
YE>S 2F4 ,B1 !N1 "! 0 A PROMISE (A RISE
6A DOLL> &A QU>T] A "D AF A FEW MON?S4
,& "H1 S F> Z ,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN IS 3C]N$1
2GAN A P]IOD ( 9NOC;E4 ,I DID N "K :AT X
0 6TAKE A DR9K F MON? 5D 6MON? 5D4 ,N
YET EI<TE5 YE>S OLD1 H1L?Y &) LAB\R-
H>D5$ B UNHURT MUSCLES1 L ANY "Y ANIMAL
,I NE$$ DIV].N1 EXCITE;T1 "S?+ 2Y !
BOOKS &! ME*ANICAL TOIL4
  ,I /RAY$ 96,"Y ,M5'S ,*RI/IAN
,ASSOCI,NS4 ,! LIFE "! 0 H1L?;L &
A?LETIC1 B TOO JUV5ILE4 ,= ME X 0 TOO
LATE4 ,I 0 N BOY1 NOR Y\?1 DESPITE MY
PAUC;Y ( YE>S4 ,I _H BUCK$ BIG ) M54 ,I
KNEW MY/]I\S & VIOL5T ?+S4 ,I 0 F ! O!R
SIDE ( LIFE S F> Z 3C]N$ ! "Y M5 ,I
5C.T]$ 9 ! ,Y4,M4,C4,A4 ,I SPOKE ANO!R
LANGUAGE1 POSSESS$ A SA4] & M T]RI#
WISDOM4 7,:5 ,I -E 6?9K X OV]1 ,I R1LISE
N[ T ,I H N"E _H A BOYHOOD47 ,AT ANY
RATE1 ! ,Y4,M4,C4,A4 "Y M5 7 TOO JUV5ILE
= ME1 TOO UNSOPHI/ICAT$4 ,? ,I WD N H
M9D$1 CD !Y H MET ME & HELP$ ME M5T,Y4
,B ,I _H GOT M \ (! BOOKS ?AN !Y4 ,_!
M1GRE PHYSICAL EXP]I;ES1 PLUS _! M1GRE
9TELLECTUAL EXP]I;ES1 MADE A NEGATIVE
SUM S VA/ T X OV]BAL.ED _! :OLE"S
MORAL;Y & H1L?;L SPORTS4
  ,9 %ORT1 ,I CDN'T PLAY )! PUPILS (A
L[] GRADE4 ,ALL ! CL1N SPL5DID "Y LIFE T
0 _!S 0 D5I$ ME--?ANKS 6MY E>LI]
TUTELAGE "U ,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN4 ,I KNEW
TOO M* TOO "Y4 ,& YET1 9 ! GD "T -+ :5
ALCOHOL IS ELIM9AT$ F ! NE$S &! 9/ITU;NS
( M51 X W 2 ! ,Y4,M4,C4,A41 & SIMIL>
UN?9KABLY BETT] & WIS] & M VIRILE
3GREGAT+-PLACES1 T W RCV ! M5 :O N[ G
6SALOONS 6F9D !MVS & "O ANO!R4 ,9 !
M1N"T1 WE LIVE TD1 "H & N[1 & WE 4CUSS
TD1 "H & N[4
  ,I 0 "W+ T5 H\RS A "D 9 ! JUTE MILLS4
,X 0 HUM-DRUM MA*9E TOIL4 ,I WANT$ LIFE4
,I WANT$ 6R1LISE MYF 9 O!R WAYS ?AN AT A
MA*9E = T5 C5TS AN H\R4 ,& YET ,I _H _H
MY FILL ( SALOONS4 ,I WANT$ "S?+ NEW4 ,I
0 GR[+ UP4 ,I 0 DEVELOP+ UNGUESS$ &
TR\BL+ POT5CIES & PROCLIVITIES4 ,& AT ?
V /AGE1 =TUNATELY1 ,I MET ,L\IS ,%ATTUCK
& WE 2CAME *UMS4
  ,L\IS ,%ATTUCK1 )\T "O VICI\S TRAIT1 0
A R1L 9NOC5TLY DEVILI% "Y FELL[1 :O 0 Q
3V9C$ T HE 0 A SOPHI/ICAT$ T[N BOY4 ,&
,I WASN'T A T[N BOY AT ALL4 ,L\IS 0
H&"S1 & GRACE;L1 & FILL$ ) LOVE =!
GIRLS4 ,) HM X 0 AN EXCIT+ & ALL-ABSORB+
PURSUIT4 ,I DIDN'T "K ANY?+ AB GIRLS4 ,I
_H BE5 TOO BUSY 2+ A MAN4 ,? 0 AN
5TIRELY NEW PHASE ( EXI/;E : _H ESCAP$
ME4 ,& :5 ,I SAW ,L\IS SAY GD-BYE 6ME1
RAISE 8 HAT 6A GIRL ( 8 ACQUA9T.E1 &
WALK ON ) H] SIDE 0SIDE D[N ! SIDEWALK1
,I 0 MADE EXCIT$ & 5VI\S4 ,I1 TOO1 WANT$
6PLAY ? GAME4
  8,WELL1 "!'S ONLY "O ?+ 6D10 SD ,L\IS1
8& T IS1 Y M/ GET A GIRL40
  ,: IS M DI6ICULT ?AN X S.DS4 ,LET ME
%[ Y1 AT ! EXP5SE (A SLI<T GO+ ASIDE4
,L\IS DID N "K GIRLS 9 _! HOME LIFE4 ,HE
_H ! 5TREE 6NO GIRL'S HOME4 ,&( C\RSE1
,I1 A /RANG] 9 ? NEW _W1 0 SIMIL>LY
CIRCUM/.ED4 ,B1 FUR!R1 ,L\IS & ,I 7 UNA#
6G 6DANC+-S*OOLS1 OR 6PUBLIC D.ES1 : 7 V
GD PLACES = GETT+ ACQUA9T$4 ,WE DIDN'T H
! M"OY4 ,HE 0 A BLACKSMI?'S APPR5TICE1 &
0 E>N+ B SLI<TLY M ?AN ,I4 ,WE BO? LIV$
AT HOME & PD \R WAY4 ,:5 WE _H D"O ?1 &
B"\ \R CIG>ETTES1 &! 9EVITA# CLO!S &
%OES1 "! REMA9$ 6EA* ( U1 = P]SONAL
SP5D+1 A SUM T V>I$ 2T SEV5TY C5TS &A
DOLL> =! WEEK4 ,WE :ACK$ ? UP1 %>$ X1 &
"S"TS LOAN$ ALL ( :AT 0 LEFT ( X :5 "O (
U NE$$ X = "S M GORGE\S GIRL-ADV5TURE1
S* Z C>-F>E \ 6,BLAIR'S ,P>K & BACK--
TW5TY C5TS1 BANG1 J L T2 & ICE-CR1M =
TWO--?IRTY C5TS2 OR TAMALES 9 A TAMALE-
P>L\R1 : CAME *1P] & : = TWO CO/ ONLY
TW5TY C5TS4
  ,I DID N M9D ? M"OY M1GRE;S4 ,! 4DA9
,I _H LE>N$ = M"OY F ! OY/] PIRATES _H
N"E LEFT ME4 ,I DIDN'T C>E OV]-WE5+LY =
X = P]SONAL GRATIFIC,N2 & 9 MY
PHILOSOPHY ,I -PLET$ ! CIRCLE1 F9D+ MYF
Z EQUA# )! LACK (A T5-C5T PIECE Z ,I 0
)! SQU&]+ ( SCORES ( DOLL>S 9 CALL+ ALL
M5 & HANG]S-ON UP 6! B> 6DR9K ) ME4
  ,B H[ 6GET A GIRL8 ,"! 0 NO GIRL'S
HOME 6: ,L\IS CD TAKE ME & ": ,I MI<T 2
9TRODUC$ 6GIRLS4 ,I KNEW N"O4 ,& ,L\IS'
S"EAL GIRLS HE WANT$ = HMF2 & ANYWAY1 9
! V HUMAN NATURE ( BOYS' & GIRLS' WAYS1
HE CDN'T
TURN ANY ( !M OV] 6ME4 ,HE DID P]SUADE
!M 6BR+ GIRL-FRS = ME2 B ,I F.D !M W1K
SI/]S1 PALE & 9E6ECTUAL AL;GSIDE ! *OICE
SPECIM5S HE _H4
  8,Y'LL H 6D L ,I DID10 HE SD F9,Y4 8,I
GOT ^! 0GETT+ !M4 ,Y'LL H 6GET "O ! SAME
WAY40
  ,& HE 9ITIAT$ ME4 ,X M/ 2 REMEMB]$ T
,L\IS & ,I 7 H>D SITUAT$4 ,WE RE,Y _H
6/RU7LE 6PAY \R BO>D & MA9TA9 A DEC5T
APPE>.E4 ,WE MET EA* O!R 9 ! EV5+1 AF !
"D'S "W1 ON ! /REET CORN]1 OR 9 A LL C&Y
/ORE ON A SIDE /REET1 \R SOLE FREQU5T+-
PLACE4 ,"H WE B"\ \R CIG>ETTES1 &1
O3A.N,Y1 A NICKEL'S WOR? ( 8R$-HOTS40
7,OH1 YES2 ,L\IS & ,I UNBLU%+LY ATE C&Y
--ALL WE CD GET4 ,NEI ( U DRANK4 ,NEI (
U "E W5T 96A SALOON47
  ,B ! GIRL4 ,9 Q PRIMITIVE FA%ION1 Z
,L\IS ADVIS$ ME1 ,I 0 6SELECT H] & MAKE
MYF ACQUA9T$ ) H]4 ,WE /ROLL$ ! /REETS 9
! E>LY EV5+S4 ,! GIRLS1 L U1 /ROLL$ 9
PAIRS4 ,& /ROLL+ GIRLS W LOOK AT /ROLL+
BOYS :O LOOK4 7,& 6? "D1 9 ANY T[N1 C;Y1
OR VILLAGE1 9 : ,I1 9 MY MI4LE AGE1 F9D
MYF1 ,I LOOK ON )! EYE TRA9$ ( OLD
EXP]I;E1 & WAT* ! SWEET 9NOC5T GAME
PLAY$ 0! /ROLL+ BOYS & GIRLS :O J M/
/ROLL :5 ! SPR+ & SUMM] EV5+S CALL47
  ,! TR\# 0 T 9 ? ,>CADIAN PHASE ( MY
HI/ORY1 ,I1 :O _H -E "?1 CASE-H>D5$1 F !
O!R SIDE ( LIFE1 0 TIMID & BA%;L4 ,AG &
AG ,L\IS N]V$ ME UP4 ,B ,I DIDN'T "K
GIRLS4 ,!Y 7 /RANGE & WOND];L 6ME AF MY
PRECOCI\S MAN'S LIFE4 ,I FAIL$ (! BOLD
FRONT &! NEC =W>D;S :5 ! CRUCIAL MO;T
CAME4
  ,!N ,L\IS WD %[ ME H[--A C]TA91
ELOQU5T GL.E ( EYE1 A SMILE1 A D>+1 A
LIFT$ HAT1 A SPOK5 ^W1 HESITANCIES1
GI7LES1 COY N]V\S;SES--&1 2HOLD1 ,L\IS
ACQUA9T$ & NO4+ ME UP 6BE 9TRODUC$4 ,B
:5 WE PAIR$ (F 6/ROLL AL;G BOY & GIRL
TGR1 ,I NOT$ T ,L\IS _H 9V>IABLY PICK$ !
GD-LOOK] & LEFT 6ME ! LL LAME SI/]4
  ,I IMPROV$1 ( C\RSE1 AF EXP]I;ES TOO
NUM]\S 65T] ^U1 S T "! 7 DIV]S GIRLS
6:OM ,I CD LIFT MY HAT & :O WD WALK 2S
ME 9 ! E>LY EV5+S4 ,B GIRL'S LOVE DID N
IMMLY -E 6ME4 ,I 0 EXCIT$1 9T]E/$1 & ,I
PURSU$ ! QUE/4 ,&! ?"\ ( DR9K N"E 5T]$
MY M9D4 ,"S ( ,L\IS' & MY ADV5TURES H
S9CE GIV5 ME S]I\S PAUSE :5 CA/+
SOCIOLOGICAL G5]ALIS,NS4 ,B X 0 ALL GD &
9NOC5TLY Y\?;L1 & ,I LE>N$ "O G5]ALIS,N1
BIOLOGICAL R ?AN SOCIOLOGICAL1 "NLY1 T !
8,COLONEL'S LADY & ,JUDY ,O',GRADY >E
SI/]S "U _! SK9S40
  ,& 2F L;G ,I LE>N$ GIRL'S LOVE1 ALL !
DE> FOND DELICI\S;S ( X1 ALL ! GLORY &!
WOND]4 ,I % CALL H] ,HAYDEE4 ,%E 0 2T
FIFTE5 & SIXTE54 ,H] LL SKIRT R1*$ H]
%OE-TOPS4 ,WE SAT SIDE 0SIDE 9 A ,SALV,N
,>MY MEET+4 ,%E 0 N A 3V]T1 NOR 0 H]
AUNT :O SAT ON ! O!R SIDE ( H]1 & :O1
VISIT+ F ! C.TRY ": AT T "T ! ,SALV,N
,>MY 0 N1 _H DROPP$ 9 6! MEET+ = HALF AN
H\R \ ( CURIOS;Y4 ,& ,L\IS SAT 2S ME &
OBS]V$--,I D 2LIEVE HE DID NO M ?AN
OBS]VE1 2C ,HAYDEE 0 N 8 /YLE ( GIRL4
  ,WE DID N SP1K1 B 9 T GRT HALF-H\R WE
GL.ED %YLY AT EA* O!R1 & %YLY AVOID$ OR
Z %YLY RETURN$ & MET EA* O!R'S GL.ES M
?AN S"EAL "TS4 ,%E _H A SL5D] OVAL FACE4
,H] BR[N EYES 7 B1UTI;L4 ,H] NOSE 0 A
DR1M1 Z 0 H] SWEET-LIPP$1 PETULANT-H9T+
M\?4 ,%E WORE A TAM-O'-%ANT]1 & ,I ?"\
H] BR[N HAIR ! PRETTIE/ %ADE ( BR[N ,I
_H "E SE54 ,& F T S+LE EXP]I;E ( HALF AN
H\R ,I H "E S9CE BE5 3V9C$ (! R1L;Y (
LOVE AT F/ SI<T4
  ,ALL TOO SOON ! AUNT & ,HAYDEE DE"P$4
7,? IS P]MISSI# AT ANY /AGE (A ,SALV,N
,>MY MEET+47 ,I 0 NO L;G] 9T]E/$ 9 !
MEET+1 &1 AF AN APPROPRIATE 9T]VAL (A
C\PLE ( M9UTES OR LESS1 />T$ 6L1VE )
,L\IS4 ,Z WE PASS$ \1 AT ! BACK (! HALL
A WOMAN RECOGNIS$ ME ) H] EYES1 >OSE1 &
FOLL[$ ME4 ,I % N DESCRIBE H]4 ,%E 0 (
MY [N K9D & FR%IP (! OLD "T ON ! WAT]-
FRONT4 ,:5 ,NELSON 0 %OT1 HE _H DI$ 9 H]
>MS1 & %E KNEW ME Z 8 "O -RADE4 ,& %E M/
TELL ME H[ ,NELSON _H DI$1 & ,I DID WANT
6"K2 S ,I W5T ) H] ACR ! WID? ( LIFE F
DAWN+ BOY'S LOVE =A BR[N-HAIR$ GIRL 9 A
TAM-O'-%ANT] BACK 6! OLD SAD SAVAGERY ,I
_H "KN4
  ,& :5 ,I _H HE>D ! TALE1 ,I HURRI$
AWAY 6F9D ,L\IS1 FE>+ T ,I _H LO/ MY F/
LOVE )! F/ GLIMPSE ( H]4 ,B ,L\IS 0
DEP5DA#4 ,H] "N WAS--,HAYDEE4 ,HE KNEW
": %E LIV$4 ,EA* "D %E PASS$ !
BLACKSMI?'S %OP ": HE "W$1 GO+ 6OR F !
,LAFAYETTE ,S*OOL4 ,FUR!R1 HE _H SE5 H]
ON O3A.N ) ,RU?1 ANO!R S*OOLGIRL1 &1 /
FUR!R1 ,NITA1 :O SOLD U R$-HOTS AT ! C&Y
/ORE1 0 A FR ( ,RU?4 ,! ?+ 6D 0 6G >.D
6! C&Y /ORE & SEE IF WE CD GET ,NITA
6GIVE A NOTE 6,RU? 6GIVE 6,HAYDEE4 ,IF ?
CD 2 >RANG$1 ALL ,I _H 6D 0 WRITE !
NOTE4
  ,& X S HAPP5$4 ,& 9 /OL5 HALF-H\RS (
MEET+ ,I CAME TO
"K ALL ! SWEET MAD;S ( BOY'S LOVE &
GIRL'S LOVE4 ,S F> Z X GOES X IS N !
BI7E/ LOVE 9 ! _W1 B ,I D D>E 6ASS]T T X
IS ! SWEETE/4 ,OH1 Z ,I LOOK BACK ON X6
,N"E DID GIRL H M 9NOC5T BOY-LOV] ?AN ,I
:O _H BE5 S WICK$-WISE & VIOL5T 2Y MY
YE>S4 ,I DIDN'T "K ! F/ ?+ AB GIRLS4 ,I1
:O _H BE5 HAIL$ ,PR9CE (! ,OY/]
,PIRATES1 :O CD G ANY": 9 ! _W Z A MAN
AM;G/ M52 :O CD SAIL BOATS1 LAY AL(T 9
BLACK & /ORM1 OR G 96! T\<E/ HANG-\TS 9
SAILOR T[N & PLAY MY "P 9 ANY R\<-H\SE T
/>T$ OR CALL ALL H&S 6! B>--,I DIDN'T "K
! F/ ?+ ,I MI<T SAY OR D ) ? SL5D] LL
*IT (A GIRL-WOMAN ^: SCANT SKIRT J R1*$
H] %OE-TOPS & :O 0 Z ABYSM,Y IGNORANT (
LIFE Z ,I WAS1 OR ?"\ ,I WAS1 PROF.DLY
WISE4
  ,I REMEMB] WE SAT ON A B5* 9 ! />LI<T4
,"! 0 FULLY A FOOT ( SPACE 2T U4 ,WE
SLI<TLY FAC$ EA* O!R1 \R NE> ELB[S ON !
BACK (! B5*2 & ONCE OR TWICE \R ELB[S J
T\*$4 ,& ALL ! "T1 DELIRI\SLY HAPPY1
TALK+ 9 ! G5TLE/ & MO/ DELICATE T]MS T
MI<T N (F5D H] S5SITIVE E>S1 ,I 0
CUDGELL+ MY BRA9S 9 AN EF=T 6DIV9E :AT
,I 0 EXPECT$ 6D4 ,:AT DID GIRLS EXPECT (
BOYS1 SITT+ ON A B5* & T5TATIVELY /RIV+
6F9D \ :AT LOVE WAS8 ,:AT DID %E EXPECT
ME 6D8 ,0 ,I EXPECT$ 6KISS H]8 ,DID %E
EXPECT ME 6TRY8 ,& IF %E DID EXPECT ME1
& ,I DIDN'T :AT WD %E ?9K ( ME8
  ,AH1 %E 0 WIS] ?AN ,I--,I "K X N[--!
LL 9NOC5T GIRL-WOMAN 9 H] %OE-TOP SKIRT4
,%E _H "KN BOYS ALL H] LIFE4 ,%E 5C\RAG$
ME 9 ! WAYS A GIRL MAY4 ,H] GLOVES 7 (F
& 9 "O H&1 & ,I REMEMB]1 LI<TLY & D>+LY1
9 MOCK REPRO( = "S?+ ,I _H SD1 H[ %E
TAPP$ MY LIPS )A T9Y FLIRT ( ^? GLOVES4
,I 0 L 6SWOON ) DELI<T4 ,X 0 ! MO/
WOND];L ?+ T _H "E HAPP5$ 6ME4 ,& ,I
REMEMB] YET ! FA9T SC5T T CLUNG 6^?
GLOVES & T ,I BR1!D 9 ! MO;T !Y T\*$ MY
LIPS4
  ,!N CAME ! AGONY ( APPREH5.N & D\BT4
,%D ,I IMPRISON 9 MY H& T LL H& )!
DANGL+1 SC5T$ GLOVES : _H J TAPP$ MY
LIPS8 ,%D ,I D>E 6KISS H] "! & !N1 OR
SLIP MY >M >.D H] WAI/8 ,OR D>$ ,I EV5
SIT CLOS]8
  ,WELL1 ,I DIDN'T D>E4 ,I DID NO?+4 ,I
M]ELY 3T9U$ 6SIT "! & LOVE ) ALL MY S\L4
,& :5 WE "P$ T EV5+ ,I _H N KISS$ H]4 ,I
D REMEMB] ! F/ "T ,I KISS$ H]1 ON ANO!R
EV5+1 AT "P+--A MI<TY MO;T1 :5 ,I TOOK
ALL MY HE>T ( C\RAGE & D>$4 ,WE N"E
SU3E$$ 9 MANAG+ M ?AN A DOZ5 /OL5
MEET+S1 & WE KISS$ P]H A DOZ5 "TS--Z
BOYS & GIRLS KISS1 BRIEFLY & 9NOC5TLY1 &
WOND]+LY4 ,WE N"E W5T ANY":--N EV5 6A
MAT9EE4 ,WE ONCE %>$ TGR FIVE C5TS WOR?
( R$-HOTS4 ,B ,I H ALW FONDLY 2LIEV$ T
%E LOV$ ME4 ,I "K ,I LOV$ H]2 & ,I DR1M$
"D-DR1MS ( H] =A YE> & M1 &! MEMORY ( H]
IS V DE>4