,,*APT] ,,VIII -- ,A ,,PANIC ,,9 ,,!
    ,,H\SE
  ,I 0 SITT+ AT MY DESK 9 ,LONDON :5 A
TELEGRAM CAME ANN\NC+ T MY "M 0 AG
DANG]\SLY ILL1 & ,I SEIZ$ MY HAT &
HURRI$ 6! /,N4 ,X IS N A MEMORY ( "O
NI<T ONLY4 ,A SCORE ( "TS1 ,I AM SURE1
,I 0 CALL$ NOR? ?US SU45LY1 & R1*$ \R LL
T[N TREMBL+1 H1D \ AT RAILWAY-C>RIAGE
W9D[ =A GL.E AT A "KN FACE : WD ANSW] !
"Q ON M9E4 ,^! ILL;SES CAME Z REGUL>LY Z
! BACK5D (! YE>1 B 7 LESS REGUL> 9 GO+1
& "? !M ALL1 0NI<T & 0"D1 ,I SEE MY SI/]
MOV+ S UNWE>Y+LY1 S LOV+LY1 ?\< ) FAIL+
/R5G?1 T ,I B[ MY H1D 9 R"E;E = H]4 ,%E
0 WE>+ H]F D"O4 ,! DOCTOR ADVIS$ U
65GAGE A NURSE1 B ! M]E ^W F"R5$ MY "M1
& WE GOT 2T H] &! DOOR Z IF ! WOMAN 0
ALR ON ! /AIR4 ,6H A /RANGE WOMAN 9 MY
"M'S ROOM -- Y :O >E US$ 6!M _C 3CV :AT
X M1NT 6U4
  ,!N WE M/ H A S]VANT4 ,? SEEM$ ONLY
LESS HORRI#4 ,MY "F TURN$ UP 8 SLEEVES &
CLUT*$ ! 2SOM4 ,I TOSS$ ASIDE MY PAP]S1
& 0 R1DY 6RUN ! ]R&S4 ,HE ANSW]$ ! DOOR1
,I KEPT ! FIRES GO+1 HE GAVE ME A LESSON
9 COOK+1 ,I %[$ HM H[ 6MAKE B$S1 "O ( U
WORE AN APRON4 ,X 0 N = L;G4 ,I 0 L$ 6MY
DESK1 ! NEWSPAP] 0 PUT 96MY "F'S H&4
,8,B A S]VANT60' WE CRI$1 & WD H FALL5
6AG4 ,8,NO S]VANT1 -ES 96? H\SE10' SD MY
SI/] Q FI]CELY1 &1 OH1 B MY "M 0 RELIEV$
6HE> H]6 ,"! 7 _M S* SC5ES1 A YE> ( !M1
,I D>ESAY1 2F WE YIELD$4
  ,I _C SAY : ( U FELT X MO/4 ,9 ,LONDON
,I 0 US$ 6S]VANTS1 & 9 MO;TS ( IRRIT,N
WD R+ = !M FURI\SLY1 ?\< D\BT.S MY MANN]
*ANG$ Z !Y OP5$ ! DOOR4 ,I H EV5 HELD MY
[N ) G5TLEM5 9 PLU%1 GIV+ "O MY HAT1
ANO!R MY /ICK1 &A ?IRD MY COAT1 & ALL
D"O ) LL M TR\# ?AN ,I %D H EXP5D$ 9
PUTT+ ! ?REE >TICLES ON ! *AIR MYF4 ,B ?
BOLD DE$1 & O!R BIG ?+S (! K9D1 ,I DID T
,I MI<T TELL MY "M ( !M AFWS1 :ILE ,I
SAT ON ! 5D ( H] B$1 & H] FACE B1M$ )
A/ONI%;T & MIR?4
  ,F MY E>LIE/ "DS ,I _H SE5 S]VANTS4 ,!
MANSE _H A S]VANT1 ! BANK _H ANO!R2 "O (
_! USES 0 6P\NCE ^U1 & C>RY AWAY 9
/ATELY MANN]1 C]TA9 NAU<TY BOYS :O PLAY$
) ME4 ,! BANK] DID N SEEM RE,Y GRT 6ME1
B 8 S]VANT -- OH YES4 ,H] BOOTS *EEP$
ALL ! WAY D[N ! *UR* AISLE2 X 0 -MON
REPORT T %E _H FLE% E "D = H] D9N]2 9/1D
( MEET+ H] LOV] AT ! PUMP %E WALK$ HM
96! C.TRY1 & HE RETURN$ ) WILD ROSES 9 8
BUTTONHOLE1 8 H& UP 6HIDE !M1 & ON 8
FACE ! TR\#D LOOK ( ^? :O "K T IF !Y
TAKE ? LADY !Y M/ GIVE UP DR9K+ F !
SAUC] = "EMORE4 ,=! LOV]S 7 RE,Y -MON
M51 UNTIL %E GAVE !M T GL.E OV] ! %\LD]
:1 ,I H NOTIC$1 IS ! FATAL GIFT (
S]VANTS4
  ,AC 6LEG5D WE ONCE _H A S]VANT -- 9 MY
*ILDHOOD ,I CD %[ ! M>K ( X ON MY =EH1D1
& EV5 PO9T H] \ 6O!R BOYS1 ?\< %E 0 N[
M]ELY A WIFE )A H\SE ( H] [N4 ,B EV5
:ILE ,I BOA/$ ,I D\BT$4 ,REDUC$ 6LIFE-
SIZE %E MAY H BE5 B A WOMAN :O CAME 9
6HELP4 ,I % SAY NO M AB H]1 LE/ "S "O
-ES =W>D 6PROVE T %E W5T HOME AT NI<T4
  ,N"E % ,I =GET MY F/ S]VANT4 ,I 0 EI<T
OR N9E1 9 VELVETE51 DIAMOND SOCKS
7,8,CROSS YR LEGS :5 !Y LOOK AT Y10' MY
"M _H SD1 ,8& PUT YR ?UMB 9 YR POCKET &
L1VE ! TOP ( YR H&K]*IEF %[+0'71 & ,I _H
TRAVELL$ 0RAIL 6VISIT A RELATIVE4 ,HE _H
A S]VANT1 & Z ,I 0 6BE 8 GUE/ %E M/ 2 MY
S]VANT AL =! "T 2+ -- Y MAY 2 SURE ,I _H
GOT MY "M 6PUT ? PLA9LY 2F ME ]E ,I SET
(F4 ,MY RELATIVE MET ME AT ! /,N1 B ,I
WA/$ NO "T 9 HOP+ ,I F.D HM WELL4 ,I DID
N EV5 CROSS MY LEGS = HM1 S EAG] 0 ,I
6HE> :E!R %E 0 / "!4 ,A SI/] GREET$ ME
AT ! DOOR1 B ,I *AF$ AT HAV+ 6BE KISS$2
AT ONCE ,I MADE =! KIT*51 ":1 ,I KNEW1
!Y RESIDE1 & "! %E WAS1 & ,I CROSS$ MY
LEGS & PUT "O ?UMB 9 MY POCKET1 &!
H&K]*IEF 0 %[+4 ,AFWS ,I /OPP$ /RANG]S
ON ! HI<WAY ) AN (F] 6%[ H] 6!M "? !
KIT*5 W9D[1 & ,I D\BT N ! F/ LR ,I "E
WROTE TOLD MY "M :AT !Y >E L :5 !Y >E S
NE> T Y C PUT YR F+]S 96!M4
  ,B N[ :5 WE CD H S]VANTS = \RVS ,I
%RANK F ! ?"\4 ,X WD N 2 ! SAME H\SE2 WE
%D H 64SEM#2 ,I SAW MYF SP1K+ ,5GLI% !
L;G "D "?4 ,Y ONLY "K ! %ELL (A ,SCOT
UNTIL Y H 5T]$ 8 HOME CIRCLE2 9 8 (FICE1
9 CLUBS1 AT SOCIAL GA!R+S ": Y & HE SEEM
6BE GETT+ ON S WELL HE IS RE,Y A H\SE )
ALL ! %UTT]S CLOS$ &! DOOR LOCK$4 ,HE IS
N OPAQUE ( SET PURPOSE1 (T5 X IS AG/ 8 W
-- X IS C]TA9LY AG/ M9E1 ,I TRY 6KEEP MY
%UTT]S OP5 & MY FOOT 9 ! DOOR B !Y W
BANG TO4 ,9 _M WAYS MY "M 0 Z RETIC5T Z
MYF1 ?\< H] MANN]S 7 Z GRACI\S Z M9E 7
R\< 7IN VA91 ALAS6 ALL ! H"O/ OIL+ (
!M71 & MY SI/] 0 ! MO/ RES]V$ ( U ALL2 Y
MI<T AT "TS SEE A LI<T "? "O ( MY *9KS3
%E 0 D\#-%UTT]$4 ,N[1 X SEEMS 6BE A LAW
( NATURE T WE M/ %[ \R TRUE SELVES AT "S
"T1 & Z ! ,SCOT M/ D X AT HOME1 &
SQUEEZE A "D 96AN H\R1 :AT FOLL[S IS T
"! HE IS SELF-REV1L+ 9 ! SUP]LATIVE
DEGREE1 ! FEEL+S S L;G DAMM$ UP OV]FL[1
& ?US A ,SCOT* FAMILY >E PROBABLY BETT]
ACQUA9T$ ) EA* O!R1 & M IGNORANT (! LIFE
\TSIDE _! CIRCLE1 ?AN ANY O!R FAMILY 9 !
_W4 ,& Z K IS SYMPA?Y1 ! A6EC;N EXI/+ 2T
!M IS ALM PA9;L 9 XS 9T5S;Y2 !Y H N M
6GIVE ?AN _! NEI<B\RS1 B X IS 2/[$ ^U A
FEW 9/1D ( 2+ 4TRIBUT$ AM;G _M2 !Y >E
REPUT$ NI7>DLY1 B = FAMILY A6EC;N AT L1/
!Y PAY 9 GOLD4 ,9 ?1 ,I 2LIEVE1 WE % F9D
! TRUE EXPLAN,N :Y ,SCOT* LIT]ATURE1
S9CE L;G 2F ! "DS ( ,BURNS1 HAS BE5 S
(T5 9SPIR$ 0! DOME/IC HE>?1 & HAS TR1T$
X )A PAS.NATE "U/&+4
  ,M/ A WOMAN -E 96\R H\SE & 4COV] T ,I
0 N S* A DRE>Y DOG Z ,I _H ! REPUT,N (
2+8 ,0 ,I 6BE SE5 AT LA/ )! VEIL ( D\R;S
LIFT$8 ,MY -PANY VOICE IS S L[ &
UNIMPRESSIVE T MY F/ REM>K IS M]ELY AN
9TIM,N T ,I AM AB 6SP1K 7L ! :IR (!
CLOCK 2F X /RIKES73 M/ X 2 REV1L$ T ,I
_H ANO!R VOICE1 T "! 0 "O DOOR ,I N"E
OP5$ )\T L1V+ MY RES]VE ON ! MAT8 ,AH1 T
ROOM1 M/ XS SECRETS 2 4CLOS$8 ,S JOY\S
!Y 7 :5 MY "M 0 WELL1 NO WOND] WE 7
M]RY4 ,AG & AG %E _H BE5 GIV5 BACK 6U2 X
0 =! GLORI\S TD WE ?ANK$ ,GOD2 9 \R
HE>TS WE KNEW & 9 \R PRAY]S 3FESS$ T !
FILL ( DELI<T _H BE5 GIV5 U1 :AT"E MI<T
2FALL4 ,WE _H N 6WAIT TILL ALL 0 OV] 6"K
XS VALUE2 MY "M US$ 6SAY1 ,8,WE N"E "U/&
H[ LL WE NE$ 9 ? _W UNTIL WE "K ! LOSS (
X10' & "! C 2 FEW TRU] SAY+S1 B DUR+ H]
LA/ YE>S WE EXULT$ DAILY 9 ! POSSES.N (
H] Z M* Z WE C EXULT 9 H] MEMORY4 ,NO
WOND]1 ,I SAY1 T WE 7 M]RY1 B WE LIK$
6%[ X 6,GOD AL"O1 & 6,HM ONLY \R AGONY
DUR+ ^? _M NI<T-AL>MS1 :5 LI<TS FLICK]$
9 ! H\SE & :ITE FACES 7 R.D MY "M'S
B$SIDE4 ,N = O!R EYES ^? L;G VIGILS :51
NI<T AB1 WE SAT WAT*+1 NOR ! AW;L NI<TS
:5 WE /OOD TGR1 TEE? CL5*$ -WAIT+ -- X
M/ 2 N[4 ,& X 0 N !N2 H] H& 2CAME COOL]1
H] BR1?+ M EASY2 %E SMIL$ 6U4 ,ONCE M ,I
CD "W 0SNAT*ES1 & 0 GLAD1 B :AT 0 !
RESULT 6ME -P>$ 6! JOY ( HE>+ T VOICE F
! O!R ROOM8 ,"! LAY ALL ! "W ,I 0 "E
PR\D (1 ! RE/ IS B H"O/ CRAFTSMAN%IP D"O
6GIVE H] COAL & FOOD & S(T] PILL[S4 ,MY
?\S& LRS T %E S C>E;LLY PRES]V$1 ALW
SLEEP+ )! LA/ 2N ! %EET1 ": "O 0 F.D :5
%E DI$ -- !Y >E ! ONLY WRIT+ ( M9E ( :
,I % "E BOA/4 ,I WD N "! _H BE5 "O LESS
?\< ,I CD H WRITT5 AN IMMORTAL BOOK = X4
  ,H[ MY SI/] TOIL$ -- 6PREV5T A
/RANG]'S GETT+ ANY FOOT+ 9 ! H\SE6 ,&
H[1 )! SAME OBJECT1 MY "M /ROVE TO ,8D =
H]F0' ONCE M4 ,%E PRET5D$ T %E 0 ALW
WELL N[1 & 3C1L$ H] AIL;TS S CRAFTILY T
WE _H 6PROBE = !M3-
,8,I ?9K Y >E N FEEL+ WELL TD80'

,8,I AM P]FECTLY WELL40'

,8,": IS ! PA980'

,8,I H NO PA9 6SP1K (40'

,8,IS X AT YR HE>T80'

,8,NO40'

,8,IS YR BR1?+ HURT+ Y80'

,8,N X40'

,8,D Y FEEL ^? /.DS 9 YR H1D AG80'

,8,NO1 NO1 ,I TELL Y "! IS NO?+ ! MATT]
  ) ME40'

,8,H Y A PA9 9 YR SIDE80'

  ,8,RE,Y1 X'S MO/ PROVOK+ ,I CANNA PUT
MY H& 6MY SIDE )\T YR ?9K+ ,I H A PA9
"!40'

,8,Y H A PA9 9 YR SIDE60'

,8,I MI<T H A PA9 9 MY SIDE40'

,8,& Y 7 TRY+ 6HIDE X6 ,IS X V PA9;L80'

,8,X'S -- X'S NO S BAD B :AT ,I C BE>
  X40'

  ,: ( ^! TWO GAVE 9 F/ ,I _C TELL1 ?\<
6ME FELL ! DUTY ( P]SUAD+ !M1 = :I*"E %E
0 %E REBELL$ Z SOON Z ! O!R %[$ SIGNS (
YIELD+1 S T "S"TS ,I _H TWO 3V]TS 9 !
WEEK B N"E BO? ON ! SAME "D4 ,I WD TAKE
!M SEP>ATELY1 & PRESS ! "O 6YIELD =!
SAKE (! O!R1 B !Y SAW S EASILY "? MY
>TIFICE4 ,MY "M MI<T G BRAVELY 6MY SI/]
& SAY1 ,8,I H BE5 ?9K+ X OV]1 & ,I
2LIEVE ,I WD L A S]VANT F9E -- ONCE WE
GOT US$ 6H]40'
  ,8,DID HE TELL Y 6SAY T80' ASKS MY
SI/] %>PLY4

,8,I SAY X ( MY [N FREE W40'

  ,8,HE PUT Y UP 6X1 ,I AM SURE1 & HE
TOLD Y N 6LET ON T Y DID X 6LI<T5 MY
"W40'

,8,MAYBE HE DID1 B ,I ?9K WE %D GET
  "O40'

  ,8,N = MY SAKE10' SAYS MY SI/]
OB/9ATELY1 & !N MY "M -ES B5 6ME 6SAY
DELI<T$LY1 ,8,%E W9NA LI/5 6R1SON60'
  ,B AT LA/ A S]VANT 0 5GAG$2 WE MI<T 2
SD 6BE AT ! W9D[1 GLOOMILY WAIT+ = H]
N[1 & X 0 ) S* ^WS Z ^! T WE S"\ 6-=T
EA* O!R & \RVS3-

,8,%E W G E>LY 6H] B$40'

,8,%E NE$NA (T5 2 SE5 UP/AIRS40'

,8,WE'LL SET H] 6! WALK+ E "D40'

  ,8,"! W 2 A _M ]R&S = H] 6RUN4 ,WE'LL
TELL H] 6TAKE H] "T OV] !M40'
  ,8,?REE "TS %E % G 6! KIRK E ,SA2A?1 &
WE'LL EGG H] ON 6ATT5D+ ! LECTURES 9 !
HALL40'
  ,8,%E IS SURE 6H FRS 9 ! T[N4 ,WE'LL
LET H] VISIT !M (T540'

,8,IF %E D>ES 6-E 96YR ROOM1 "M60'

  ,8,M9D ?1 E "O ( Y1 S]VANT OR NO
S]VANT1 ,I FOLD ALL ! L95 MYSEL40'

,8,%E % N GET CL1N+ \ ! EA/ ROOM40'

,8,NOR PUTT+ MY *E/ ( DRAW]S 9 ORD]40'

,8,NOR TIDY+ UP MY MANUSCRIPTS40'

  ,8,I HOPE %E'S A R1D]1 ?\<4 ,Y CD SET
H] D[N )A BOOK1 & !N CLOSE ! DOOR CANNY
ON H]40'
  ,& S ON4 ,0 "E S]VANT AWAIT$ S
APPREH5SIVELY8 ,& !N %E CAME -- AT AN
ANXI\S "T1 TOO1 :5 H] WOR? CD 2 PUT 6!
PRO( AT ONCE -- & F F/ 6LA/ %E 0 A
TR1SURE4 ,I "K N :AT WE %D H D"O )\T H]4